The Almost
by lola-pops
Summary: Flannel. Weed. Nirvana. One fall day changes everything. Five friends navigate high school, relationships and their futures.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again! This will be a short story. 3-4 chapters. It's all written so I'll post as my beta finishes. Thanks for giving it a whirl. I've missed this so, so much!**

**Many thanks to my beta ShearEnvy and my prereaders bashfulfan and ilusocantante. LOVE. Much love to roglows for her kind words and for reminding me how wonderful this community is.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

_This would be the right time to cry._

_I will as soon as I catch my breath-as soon as I can hear over the dull thud of my heartbeat. A lock of my dark hair hangs in front of my eyes but my fingers shake too hard to push it back._

_Emmett runs up, stopping a few feet from where I stand. He won't meet my eyes. "They called the cops. Is she okay?" Emmett asks. I don't answer, but he wasn't asking me anyway. For a second I have the urge to throw my arms around his neck, but my brother hasn't willingly hugged me in years. As if he senses that thought, he takes another step back. Jasper's in motion next to him, pacing then pausing, his fists clenching and relaxing. He tugs at his hair, glancing at me then letting out a noise like an animal. "Motherfucker deserved it. I should've-"_

_Emmett tells him to shut up._

_Jasper quiets, but doesn't stop moving, like he still wants to throw a punch. He palms his right fist in his left hand._

_I've never seen Edward that angry, his fist backing up and slamming back down, over and over. The memory makes my head swim. I can see the man's broken face and blood on his button-down shirt, the blue sedan door he was trying to push me into still open._

_Jasper's body twitches, words spilling out of his mouth like he can't stop them. "What if he took her, Em? Like one of those sick fuckers you see on TV-"_

_Emmett cuts him off again, yelling this time. "Shut the fuck up, Jasper!"_

_His anger gets lost, the bright autumn sunshine ignoring him. The birds pause, but only for a few seconds. When this is over, it will be like we weren't here at all._

_Behind me, I hear the flick of a lighter. I turn, focusing my eyes on Edward. He hangs back from the three of us, a shake to his hand as he exhales and brings the cigarette back up to his lips. His knuckles are bloody, his shirt covered as well._

_The expression on his face causes tears to well sick and hot behind my eyes. I clench my teeth._

_"We shouldn't have brought her," Emmett says, the words breaking through the haze in my brain. When I turn he's frowning, but his expression softens when he looks at me._

_"We won't get in trouble, Em," Jasper eyes me, and I can tell he doesn't totally believe what he's saying. He's been in trouble too many times already this year, and his dad is already threatening to kick him out. When he reaches out to touch my arm I flinch, and the hurt is plain on his face. "You'll tell them Edward was protecting you, right, short stack?"_

_None of them have called me that in years. I used to hate it, but today I don't mind. Today it makes me wish I could jump back weeks -years- to before any of this, before they started sneaking out and coming home with red eyes, smelling like alcohol and pot._

_Back then this wouldn't have happened. Emmett said no one would buy them beer if I was with them, so I stood on the deserted side street. Just before I saw the man walking toward me I was wishing I was home talking to Rosalie on the phone in the kitchen, eating the Rice Krispie Treats my mom just finished making._

_I squeeze my eyes shut._

_The sun is starting to set and I start to get chilled, my bare arms cross over my chest. I try not to think about the way the man grabbed my hand and tried to pull me toward his car, away from the boys. His palm was sweaty and I almost got out of his grip but he grabbed my elbow hard, twisting. The pain reminded me that I should be screaming._

_I try to breathe deeply but I can still feel the phantom of his hand clapped over my mouth._

_Jasper ducks down, bringing his eyes level with mine. "Bella..."_

_My throat is tight and I'm holding back so much that I'm afraid what comes out won't be human. "I'm okay." The sound of my own voice orients me. I'm suddenly aware that I'm here, not in the back of some stranger's car. Looking down at my arm, I see dark bruises forming from the man's grip on my skin._

_I'm safe. I'm here. This time I can't keep from crying. A siren sounds somewhere far away, then another._

_Edward's gaze is steady. He tosses his cigarette butt and steps forward, pulling me against his chest. My face presses into him and his arms hold me tight while I let hot tears soak into his ruined t-shirt. He smoothes the hair out of my face and lets his hand rest on the back of my neck._

_"It's okay. We got you," he whispers._

* * *

I've been laying here for two hours, the same song on repeat. Every time it peaks, my heart rushes in the same way, my whole body aching. I want to keep chasing that feeling. I never want to listen to another song ever again. I never want to move or laugh or smile...

Emmett yanks the headphones out of my Discman.

"What?" I ask, my ears ringing in the abrupt silence.

"Mom left a list of chores. I did my half." He tries to hand me the piece of paper, dropping it on the bed when I won't take it from him. "Did you finish your homework?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm going to procrastinate and do it Sunday night like a normal person."

Emmett signed up to join the Army after he graduates. I can see how that will be a good fit.

"Just get up," he says. "I made breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," I lie.

"Don't pretend you're one of those girls who doesn't eat. You ate half a pizza last night."

"So did you," I say, defensively.

"Yeah, but I outweigh you by a hundred pounds," he says over his shoulder. He leaves the door open behind him.

I roll my eyes again but it's a whole lot less satisfying when there's no one there to see it. My stomach rumbles.

I wonder if he made bacon.

Jasper's in the kitchen, rolling a blunt at the table. Ever since my mom started dating Phil, the weekends have been a free-for-all at our house. Jasper's blonde hair is sticking up on one side and his blue eyes are bloodshot. He probably slept on the couch last night. The whole kitchen smells like skunk.

"You know, my mom could come home any time. Phil lives, like, twenty minutes away. Plus, that reeks."

"_You_ reek," he says, smiling. He licks around the wrap and rolls the blunt gently between his fingers, clearly satisfied with his work. There's a plate of bacon next to the stove. I grab a piece and sit across from him in the breakfast nook, bringing my knees up to my chin to fight off the morning chill.

"Wake and bake?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Party tonight. Some chick Edward's...dating." The way he hesitates makes my skin go cold. I pull my flannel tighter around me.

"Whatever," I say, trying to act like I don't care but failing.

"What are you gonna do tonight?" he asks.

"Rosalie wants to go to Tanya Denali's party."

He freezes, looking up quickly.

"That's who he's dating?" I ask. Jasper nods. "What does he see in her? I mean, she's pretty, but...whatever."

Edward always dates really pretty girls, but they aren't usually in the Denali's tax bracket. The really annoying thing is that Tanya is actually really nice. I'm going to have to work pretty hard to find a reason to hate her. She's not even that slutty.

"She's got a great rack and a heated pool," he says, shrugging.

He backpedals when he sees my face, glancing behind him to make sure Emmett's out of earshot. "Speaking of...your rack is filling out nicely."

"You're an ass," I say, my cheeks getting hot.

He laughs, giving me a genuine smile before getting back to the task at hand.

The phone rings and I hop up out of habit, grabbing it off the wall before Emmett can get to the hallway phone upstairs. I hear him bound out of his room, trying to make it in time. He groans when he realizes I beat him. I grin.

Before I can say anything a voice says "I got the stuff."

I can't help the laugh that bursts out of my mouth. Rosalie always sounds like she just got done doing something dirty, like she's having a cigarette after sex with a married man.

I glance back at Jasper, but he's rolling another blunt.

"What if it wasn't me that answered?"

"I knew it was you," she says, simply.

She got her cousin to buy us a bottle of vodka for the party tonight.

"I'm not sure I want to go," I say.

"Because of Tanya and Edward?" she asks.

I swallow old feelings. "Whatever."

"Wait, how did you even know? I told Jasper not to say anything."

That wounds me more than I would like to admit. I speak around the lump in my throat, though, without a trace of it in my voice. "It's fine. Just come over around nine."

"Can we ride up there with Emmett?" she asks. I sigh. I hate going to parties with my brother. I hate going to parties with Emmett and Rosalie even more. They bicker. I wish they would just admit that they like each other but it's possible that neither of them will ever make the first move.

"I'm sure."

"Cool. Later."

I put the handset in the cradle. I hate the idea that my friends feel the need to keep things from me.

"I'm going on a walk," I say, pulling my army coat off the hook.

Out of the corner of my eye I can feel Jasper watching me. "What did she say? "

He must have been paying more attention than I thought.

I pull on my boots and straighten up. "Nothing."

Emmett walks into the kitchen, his hair wet from the shower.

"Can Rose and I ride with you to that party tonight?" I ask.

He shrugs. "If she keeps her mouth shut."

"I don't see that happening," I mumble. Jasper laughs, but I don't. "I'll be back."

"Where are you going?" Emmett asks.

"Just on a walk."

He frowns and I have to keep myself from rolling my eyes.

"I'll stay close," I say, quietly.

He nods, but doesn't move. I walk out the door without saying anything else and start down the alley, enjoying the crunch of leaves under my feet. The neighbor kids wave and I wave back, wishing just a little that I could jump in one of the piles in their yard like we used to when we were kids.

I walk for as long as I dare before turning back. Even though it's annoying I don't want Emmett to worry. It's one major downside of being the "almost" girl.

I was _almost_ abducted.

I _almost _met a tragic end.

Of course, the upside of being the "almost" girl far outweighs the downside. The downside is something that the newspapers reported in great detail after they caught my would-be kidnapper. The things they found when they raided his house still haunt our whole neighborhood. It's so dark that my mind glazes over it, like it happened to someone else. None of us bring it up anymore, but I know it's not because we don't remember. It's in the way I still wake up to find my mom asleep in the rocking chair in my room, or how Emmett waits for me after school to give me a ride home, even if I have to stay late and even though it's not too far to walk.

Like a thousand times before, I find myself walking toward the gas station a few blocks from our house.

I step inside, shuddering from my line of thought, not the cold. Edward looks up at the bell, a slow smile spreading when he sees me. The darkness lifts and I find that achy, twisting feeling I was chasing earlier.

"Hey," I say, walking toward the beverage case and pulling out a bottle of juice.

He watches as I set it down on the counter, shaking his head and sliding my money back to me when I try to pay him.

"You don't have to do that," I say. He shrugs, a small smile on his face.

"Hey, Ben, I'll be out back," he says over his shoulder. Ben gives him the okay, not looking up from his comic book. Edward walks around the counter, nodding his head toward the back exit for me to follow him. We step out into the alley just as the wind whips up, tossing my hair around my face. I pull my coat around me and sit on an overturned crate. He sits on the crate next to me, not even bracing himself against the cold; it never seems to bother him. He reaches into the breast pocket of his flannel, his arm pressing against mine. I wait for him to light a cigarette, but he unwraps a piece of mint gum instead.

He catches me looking at him. "I quit."

Smiling, I bump his shoulder with mine. I'm always bugging him about it. "When, this morning?"

I saw him smoking last night while he was waiting for Emmett.

He smiles. "Alright, fine. I'm working on it."

Grinning, we sit side-by-side not saying anything. He and I have always been able to be like this-together and quiet without it being awkward. I think about why I took the walk in the first place and my smile falls. He watches me, brow furrowed. I know he won't ask me what's on my mind, so I just say it.

"Tanya Denali, huh?"

He stiffens, clenching his jaw.

"Not that I care." I close my eyes and take a deep breath, disappointed in my total lack of filter. It's so uncool. "I mean, she's really nice," I concede, even though he hasn't said a word.

We sit in silence for a long minute.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks.

I turn to look at him, curious. "Sure."

"Do you think it's a good idea for Emmett to join the Army?"

From the way he says it, I can tell that this has been on his mind.

"I don't know. He's well-suited for it, but I'm not sure that means he'll be happy."

He doesn't agree or disagree. I decide to give him my real answer, something I haven't told anyone.

"I think he's doing it to get back at my dad."

Edward's head jerks up, his eyes intensely focused on mine. "That's what I was thinking."

My dad had all of these plans for Emmett. He always regretted not graduating from college, so he pinned a lot on Emmett's future, like it was happening to both of them. He was going to go to school on a football scholarship and then he was going to do something really important with his life. Military service wasn't what my dad had in mind.

"How _is_ your dad?" he asks.

I stay at his condo twice a month, per the custody agreement. "He's okay. He misses all of us. He's got a girlfriend."

"It doesn't seem like it bothers you," he says.

"Of course it bothers me." My parents splitting up was one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. "I'm just not angry about it. Not like Emmett is, anyway. Everything is so black and white with him. Like, my mom is innocent and my dad is the devil. Even though she's never home anymore because she's with Phil, somehow when my dad moved on he was betraying her."

"It's fucked," Edward says, succinctly.

I agree with him.

"I think Emmett blames himself."

I turn to look at him. "For my parents?"

Clearing his throat, he nods. "I think he thinks…" he glances at me, his expression uneasy. "I think he thinks that if he hadn't brought you to the liquor store that day, your parents would have stayed together."

"That's insane," I answer quickly. My parents would have gotten a divorce either way, or at least that's what I choose to believe. "Do you ever think about it?" It's mentioned so infrequently that it doesn't have a name.

He freezes next to me, clearing his throat after a few seconds. "All the time."

I look away, fidgeting with my sleeves. "What about that Halloween?"

Of all the things that never happened, the late hours of October 31, 1989 happened least of all. I've never breathed a word of it to anyone. Not Rosalie or Jasper, not the shrink I was assigned to see, not even my diary.

This time he doesn't respond at all.

I jump a mile when the back door swings open and Ben sticks his head out. "Emmett called to see if you're here."

My face heats. "I'm leaving now. Thanks, Ben." He disappears and I drop my face into my hands. "How long until they ship him off to basic training, do you think?"

I peek over at Edward and he's staring at the ground. "You should go," he says, not unkindly, but my chest aches nonetheless.

He stands, reaching out his hand to help me up. My cold fingers press against his warm skin and when I stand he doesn't let go right away, looking down at our hands. He meets my eyes and I can't breathe.

I'm stunned silent by how close we're standing and how he's looking at me. Neither of us break eye contact, the moment stretching across a line that I didn't even know was there. He seems to realize that at the same time I do, his gaze dropping to my lips and then away from me altogether. He takes a step back.

It takes me a few seconds to come to my senses. My skin tingles and that charged, awful, wonderful feeling screams through my whole body, almost painfully intense.

"I guess I'll see you later." I intentionally don't say anything about the party.

Nodding, he gives me one last half-smile before going inside.

I stare at the closed door for a long moment before I start down the alley. I float the whole way home.

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**Thanks for reading! **

**I love you. **

**See you soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to ShearEnvy, bashfulfan and roglows. xoxo**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

Rosalie slams the front door behind her.

"I'm up here," I yell.

She's wearing a dark plum lipstick that, along with her straight, white-blonde hair, accentuates her pale skin. Underneath her coat she's wearing a burgundy velvet top so low-cut that it makes me gasp. She doesn't usually get this dressed up, even if she's still wearing her Doc Martens and there are holes in her tight jeans.

"I can seriously almost see nipple, Rosalie."

She squares her shoulders, looking at herself in my mirror. "It's good, right?"

I don't disagree. She's tall and thin and her skin is perfect. She can't hide that behind dark eyeliner and the silver stud in her nose. If she was in a cheerleading uniform, she would be the homecoming queen. She knows it.

We go downstairs to mix vodka with orange juice. Both of us wince at the first sip, not even pretending to like the taste.

When Emmett walks in the kitchen he has to visibly restrain himself from looking at Rose's chest. She grins, saluting him with her free hand. "Private Hale, reporting for duty, sir."

"At ease," he says, shaking his head. I see him sneak a glance at her cleavage. She sees it, too.

"Want a drink?" she asks, nonchalantly.

"No." Emmett doesn't drink or smoke weed anymore. "And don't get all wasted before we get there."

"I make no promises," Rosalie says, taking another sip.

We're only slightly tipsy by the time we get to the party. Probably half of our school is here - mostly upperclassmen but there's a group of kids standing awkwardly in the entryway.

"Freshmen are so benign," Rosalie says. She's always making statements like that.

I roll my eyes and theirs widen as they watch her walk past. I smile genuinely at the group. I remember very well what it felt like to be them.

We end up standing in the kitchen, mixing drinks. I see Edward before he sees me, Tanya Denali practically hanging off of him. It's clear that she's had a lot to drink already, her cheeks are red and her movements exaggerated. He smiles easily at whomever they're talking to and I look away.

Seeing that look on his face makes me feel sick, but I don't have time to think about it because someone barrels into me from the side, lifting me off my feet and spinning me around. "I fucking love that you're here right now," Jasper says, setting me down. He's got a bottle of whiskey in one hand. He stumbles, bumping into some girl's elbow so she spills her drink. She glares at him. "You know what your problem is?" he asks her. "You rich fuckers don't know how to party." He laughs and upends the bottle of whiskey into his mouth, spilling it all over his shirt.

"Jas," Emmett starts, but thinks better of it. It's best to just let him go.

Jasper gets a look at what Rosalie's wearing and stops short, his jaw dropping. He reaches his free hand out toward her right boob and she swats it away. Emmett laughs and she swats at him, too.

Edward elbows his way through the crowd to get to us, his eyes on mine as he approaches. He wraps an arm around Jasper's neck and grabs the bottle of whiskey from him. "Causing trouble?" he asks Jasper.

Before Jasper can respond a small, dark-haired girl stomps up and shoves him in the chest. He stumbles backward and Edward catches him. "Did you seriously grab Jessica Stanley's ass? You fucking asshole."

"It meant nothing. She begged me to. I fucking love you!" She glares at him and turns to walk away.

Jasper yells after her. "Alicia, wait up!"

Turning back, she shoves him in the chest again. Emmett keeps him upright this time. Jasper grabs the bottle of whiskey and follows her.

"Alicia!"

We watch them disappear into the crowd.

"Yeah… that girl's name is Alice," Rosalie says, after a long pause.

All of us bust out laughing.

Rose and Emmett go to mix her another drink and I'm left standing with Edward. I give him a small smile.

"Having fun?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "No."

I don't ask him to elaborate.

"Are you?"

"I didn't want to come," I admit.

Tanya chooses that moment to stumble up, wrapping a hand around Edward's bicep, a drink in her other hand. "Hey, Bella." She smiles lazily.

I smile back and it's fake, but she's so drunk she probably wouldn't notice if I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Let's go upstairs," she whispers loudly to Edward, pressing her body against his.

I take back my earlier thought...she _is_ kind of slutty.

My stomach turns and I walk away before I can hear any more. I make my way through the crowd in the living room, through the kitchen and into the backyard. There's a crowd in the hot tub but the area around the pool is empty. I sit in one of the lounge chairs off to the side, laying back to look at the sky. My vision blurs slightly, then comes clear. I take another drink.

"Bella?"

The voice sounds familiar but I can't place it until I see his face. We have a few classes together this year. He sits in the chair next to me, long legs stretching out, a beer in his hand.

"Hey, Jacob."

"What's up?" he asks.

I shrug, but suddenly I feel the need to spill my guts. "Have you ever liked someone that doesn't like you back?"

He laughs. "Yes."

Leaning my head back, I look up at the few stars I can see. "How did you get over it?"

"I hooked up with someone else."

This time it's me that laughs. I look over at him, looking at his face in the moonlight. Jacob is easy to be around, always smiling.

"Does that work?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, for the moment. It's not like we're going to marry whoever we date now anyway, you know?"

I laugh again, even though a part of me stings when he says that. Shoving that feeling away, I stop thinking. Conversation with Jake is easy. After a while, I forget I was upset at all and he goes to get me another drink, lighting a joint when he gets back.

Jacob's lips taste like chapstick and he's a messy kisser. I don't care, though. I don't think, I just let my lips move along with his, uninhibited and loose.

When he slides his hand along my waist I let it happen, but when he tries to put his hand under my shirt I push it away. He kisses me again and I kiss him back.

"I've been wanting to ask you out." He moves his hand under my shirt and upward, with more force this time. I try to push him away again.

Before I have a chance to say anything he's jerked up and away. "Back the fuck up," I hear Edward say.

I sit up, covering myself when I realize he managed to get a few buttons on my shirt undone. Edward has Jacob by the collar, but he's watching me.

"You okay?"

I look around us. People have stopped talking to watch. I stand without making eye contact with Edward or Jacob and try to keep my head held high as I walk out the back gate, back toward a neighborhood that I'm familiar with.

Half a block away I stop until I can get the last button on my flannel fastened. I realize I forgot my purse and close my eyes, cursing weed for making me forget things. Walking back into that party sounds awful.

I hear Edward before I see him, calling my name a few times as he walks down the alley. He jogs forward and hands me my purse, shaking his head.

"Who the hell was that kid?" he asks, anger in his voice.

My anger matches his.

"How is that any of your business? Why do you all treat me like I'm still a little girl?"

He stares at me, his eyes searching my face. "I think the problem is that you aren't a little girl anymore, Bella," he says, so quietly I almost can't hear him.

That throws me off.

"Is that how you want it to happen? At a party in some stranger's backyard?"

"Oh yeah, I was totally going to have sex with him on a pool chair," I say, sarcastically. "I can take care of myself."

Even as I say that I kind of know it's not totally true.

"Either way, you deserve better than some guy who doesn't care what you want."

I can't disagree with him, so I don't try.

"What, did Emmett make you check up on me?" I'm still defiant but starting to lose conviction.

He turns, looking back toward the party. "Rosalie got too drunk. Emmett took her back to your house and couldn't find you. He asked me to drive you home since I didn't drink tonight," he says.

My brain is still foggy but I'm present enough to realize that I probably shouldn't walk home from here. I know I'll go with him, but I'm not quite ready to give in.

"What about Tanya?"

"Jesus, Bella," he says, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "I don't care about Tanya, okay? When I left she was making out with Mike Newton."

He nods his head back the way we came, asking me to follow him. I stand with my arms crossed but after a few seconds, I do. He opens the car door and shuts it behind me after I get in. I start shivering as he starts the car.

When he sees that I'm cold he turns up the heat. I watch him drive, fighting to keep my eyes open.

He pulls up in front of my house and puts the car in park. The light is on in the front porch, letting me know that my brother is waiting for me.

"I won't tell Emmett," he says. My heart aches.

"Thanks," I say.

The weight of the night hits me then, the alcohol and what happened with Jacob. Afraid that I could cry, I open the door and get out, shutting it behind me as quietly as I can. I'm hoping Emmett isn't up. I can't handle an interrogation right now.

He and Rose are asleep on the couch together. She's got her feet in his lap and he's holding one of them, his head dropped back on the couch, mouth open. The TV is stuck on a blue screen, so I turn it off along with the VCR. I take the stairs the way you do in the house you grew up in, avoiding every squeaky step. It's not until I'm in my bedroom, face washed and under my covers that I let myself really run through the night.

I go through all of the emotions again, cringing through most of it.

By the time I fall asleep I'm convinced I'm never going to school again. Or parties.

I'm startled awake by the knocking, freezing until I hear the voice that goes along with it. I get out of bed, sliding open my bedroom window so Edward can step in from the porch roof. He slides the window shut carefully. My alarm clock reads 2:30.

I wrap my arms around myself. He brought in cold air with him. I'm wearing a t-shirt that's a little too big for me, but my legs are bare. He doesn't seem to notice, looking me in the eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"When you asked me earlier… I think about that Halloween all the time. Every day."

It spills out of my mouth before I can stop it, with more emotion than I would like. "Me, too."

In the stillness that follows, time slows so I feel each of his fingers on my waist, pulling me toward him. I feel his arms wrap around me, one palm on my lower back ,his lips hitting mine as my feet leave the ground, my whole body pressed against his. It's not tender. It's years of love and frustration and everything that I've suppressed in one kiss. My hands pull at his neck and the collar of his flannel shirt. I breathe in the scent of his skin and press my warm fingers against his cold cheeks. It's the sum of all my feelings and when he sets me down, my lips feel sweet and bruised, but it's not enough.

I want more. I want him to pick me up again, to wrap my legs around his waist and pull his hair.

I want him to look like I feel, but instead he looks guilty, taking a step back.

"Your brother would kill me." he says, in explanation. "I'm supposed to protect you from the guy. I'm not supposed to _be_ the guy."

"So we can't do this because of Emmett."

I watch him struggle to find the words. "He's my best friend," he says, trying to explain.

There's no way I can deny how much that means. We all grew up together. Our parents know each other. A lot of people are involved in our relationship and it's still hypothetical.

I wait for him to go on but he seems to have noticed my state of undress, staring at my bare legs.

"If Emmett finds me in your room with you in your underwear..." he says, refocusing on my face.

"Five more minutes," I say automatically, like I say to my mom in the morning when I don't want to get out of bed.

He smiles his half smile.

"How much trouble could we get into in five minutes?" I ask, smiling sweetly.

He shakes his head, looking away from me. "You're killin' me," he says, exhaling slowly.

I'm sure he can practically feel how intensely I want him.

"We can talk tomorrow," he says, and my heart sinks. In the light of day this situation may look very different to him. I don't want him to forget how this feels.

Taking two steps forward I push myself up onto tip-toes so my lips can reach his, one hand on his face. He hardly moves at first, letting me press against his mouth, but he can't sustain it. One of his hands tugs on the hem of my t-shirt and brushes against my thigh. I might explode. I press my hips into his and he stops breathing, backing up from the kiss. He leaves me standing in my bedroom with a promise that we'll talk tomorrow.

I'm equal parts hopeful, doubtful and desperate for his touch.

I'm not sure I've ever been this nervous for the next morning in my whole life.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to ShearEnvy, bashfulfan and roglows for being wonderful.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

* * *

_I wake up gasping, like I haven't taken a breath in minutes. My chest hurts and my face is wet with tears. My nightmares are silent, so I'm surprised when I see Edward sitting on the floor by my bed. Usually no one comes. He wipes at his cheeks, his other palm pressed against mine, warm fingers that don't let go. I've never seen him cry, not even when he broke his arm skateboarding last summer. _

"_What are your bad dreams about?" I ask in a whisper._

_It takes him a long time to answer, but he does. He tells me about his older sister's husband hitting her and how distant his father is. He tells me how he worries that he won't ever get out of this neighborhood; that he'll end up selling weed with Jasper and living a block from where we grew up his whole life._

_I tell him about how I hear my parents fighting and how Emmett won't acknowledge it. I tell him I don't understand why I was the lucky one that didn't get abducted. _

"_I've never been that scared in my whole life," he says. His knuckles are still healing. I run my fingers lightly over them. He watches our hands, his skin rough against mine._

"_I never said thank you."_

_He shakes his head. "You didn't need to."_

_We sit in silence for a while. _

_We talk for the rest of the night, him with his back against my nightstand and me laying at the edge of my bed, our faces close so we can hear each other whisper. When the sun starts to rise, he moves closer. _

"_Have you had your first kiss?" he asks. I shake my head, my chin resting on my arm. _

_I don't move a muscle as he leans in, pausing to tell me to close my eyes. It's sweet and short, but if there was any doubt I'm in love with him it disappears the second our lips touch._

_The next morning over breakfast, it's like it never happened except when my parents have a tense conversation at the table. Emmett just eats like he doesn't hear it but Edward meets my eyes long enough that I know he's acknowledging the night before. _

_I'm hopeful the next night but less so as the days, then weeks, go by and he doesn't show up in my room again. _

_After a while I'm sure I dreamed it._

* * *

Emmett doesn't wake me up, but I can hear him downstairs laughing. Curiosity finally gets me out of bed and I walk into the kitchen to find him with Jasper and Rosalie, rehashing the night.

Jasper looks like shit and he's got a joint tucked behind his right ear. Rosalie looks pretty, even hungover with makeup smudged under her eyes. Emmett's at the stove with his back to me.

"Morning," I say, heading for the fridge. Before Emmett can start asking me questions about my night, I act offensively. "Was my brother giving you a footrub last night?" I ask Rose, pulling out the orange juice.

Her jaw drops open, then closes. She glances at Emmett, whose cheeks are red.

"Oh shit," Jasper says, drawing the words out and looking between the two of them.

"Because when I got home, you were both passed out on the couch and he was holding your feet. It was actually kind of sweet."

"Nothing happened," both of them say, but not with the vehemence I've come to expect from their relationship.

Jasper and I raise our eyebrows at each other while Rose and Emmett pretend to be absorbed in their food.

Jasper tells us about his night, puking off a balcony and passing out in Tanya's parents bed. Neither of these things surprise me.

Edward doesn't show. I guess I expected him to be here, like he would be as anxious to see me as I am to see him.

After Jasper and Rose leave, I spread my homework out on my bed but don't even pretend I can concentrate. I get out my Discman and go back to my favorite album and my favorite song. Kurt Cobain's voice contains every feeling I have, so I let it do the work, not letting myself think.

My mom brings home dinner, popping her head in my door to let me know it's time to eat. I turn down the music just enough so I can hear her.

"Edward's here, so if you want to get anything to eat you'd better get down there," she says as she walks away.

I sit up in bed, yanking my headphones off. Sure enough, I hear Edward's voice downstairs.

I'm a mess, so I twist my hair up in a bun and throw on a clean t-shirt.

When I walk into the kitchen, he looks up. His smile is slight but it's there. My heart pounds.

"Are there any egg rolls left?" I ask. It's a familiar point of contention between me and my brother.

"Nope." I swat him on the back of the head. "What? I was starving."

"Sorry. So was I. Ben called in sick so I worked all day," Edward says, his way of explaining why he took so long. I give him a small smile.

I'm suddenly too nervous to eat. My mom takes a cream cheese wonton and eats it while she tells us about her weekend. I pretend to eat my beef with broccoli and try to look casual.

Through the entire meal I wait for him to say something, to confess to Emmett. They talk about football, work and the weather. By the time they get to the weather I'm ready to kill Edward. And when he gets up from the table... I give up hope.

My mom pats his shoulder as he walks to the back door.

"Bella. Trash," she says, handing me the bag. For once, I don't complain. Edward holds the door open, telling Emmett he'll see him tomorrow.

He tries to take the bag from me but I ignore him, making it all the way to the trash can and trying to lift it in. I struggle for a minute before he grabs it, dropping it in like it weighs nothing.

"I'm sorry," he says. I cross my arms against the chill.

"I thought…" I don't finish. I feel stupid now, like I should have known this would happen.

"I'll tell him. I just need a little time to figure out how."

He's sincere. I look back at the house. No one seems to be watching. "So until then you're going to sneak into my room in the middle of the night?"

"I shouldn't have done that." He sounds serious.

I choose honesty. "I haven't been able to think about anything else."

It doesn't surprise me that he doesn't answer, but he does smile.

I start walking backwards toward the house, looking him over. He looks as boyish as ever, his hands shoved in his pockets. There's stubble on his face and his hair is perfectly messy.

"If you do knock, I'll let you in," I say.

He smiles, shaking his head. "You're trouble."

I turn and walk back into the house, forcing myself not to turn back.

* * *

Tanya is in the same lunch period as me. She's sitting a few tables away from me and Rose, tears on her cheeks as she spins the story of how Edward broke up with her. We can hear snippets of her explanation of how Mike Newton took advantage of her.

Rose rolls her eyes. "High school is so tragic."

I shrug and she narrows her eyes.

"What's going on with you?"

Swallowing hard, I look down, realizing too late that I'm totally acting weird. "Why?"

"You look...tired." I get the feeling it's not the word she originally chose.

Edward didn't show up last night but he called just as I was getting into bed, pretending he was calling for Em. We talked for two hours. I've been fighting my eyelids all morning.

"I couldn't sleep," I say, hoping it's enough of an explanation.

"You have, like, crazy bags under your eyes."

I roll them. "Thanks."

She grins.

"Jasper wants to smoke a joint after school. Edward said he's down before he goes to work."

"Sure. Whatever."

"Edward can give us a ride home, then."

I decide to fuck with her a little, even though she swears nothing happened. "Are you sure you don't want to stay and watch Emmett's practice?"

"Ugh. Football. No way." Like before, her words lack their usual venom.

I grin at her and she sticks her middle finger up at me. "Bitch."

Sometimes I actually do like to stay and watch Emmett practice, working on my homework in the stands if it's not too cold. I love to be there for the moment when the sun sets and they flip on the stadium lights, the players' breath coming out in white puffs. Every now and then Emmett will look up at me between plays, raising a hand up in the air. It's the time that I feel most affection from him, even though we're too far away to speak to each other.

It hits me that next year I won't have those moments with him. I won't have any of them here, actually. The thought of a year without Emmett, Edward and Jasper feels empty.

The rest of the day passes quickly. Maybe it's just exhaustion but by the end of the day I'm officially in a funk. It takes me longer than usual to pack up my school books. The buses are gone and Edward is pulled up in front of the school when I walk out. I get into the backseat next to Rose, dropping my bag on the floor. Jasper lights the joint as we pull away, passing it to Edward, who takes it without looking.

He looks at me in the rearview mirror as he exhales. I'm the first to look away. Rosalie is giving us a rundown of her day and Jasper tells a story I barely hear. Edward laughs and I suddenly want out of this car. I feel a loneliness that I shouldn't feel among my best friends. When she tries to hand me the joint I shake my head.

We pull up to Rose's house first. She frowns, touching my arm before she gets out. "You okay?"

I nod and she accepts it.

Jasper's next, drizzling eye drops and popping gum as we pull up to his house. He walks with one hand holding up his baggy jeans. I think half of his problems with his parents would disappear if he'd wear pants that fit.

I get into the front seat, clicking my seat belt into place. The whole drive I can see him glancing at me out of the corner of my eye. He pulls over a block from my house, turning to face me.

"What's up?" he asks. He's not asking in a small talk kind of way.

Before I answer I take a minute to really think about what's bothering me.

"Tanya was sitting in the caf crying over you at lunch today."

He brings both hands up to run his fingers through his hair. I recognize frustration but I'm not willing to suppress my own.

"You've gone out with a lot of girls. I get that. I don't expect you to apologize for it." Even though I say it, a little part of me kind of wants him to. "But how do you think it makes me feel that you want to keep this a secret?"

"I explained why. I just need time to figure out how to tell Emmett."

"How long will that take?"

He doesn't answer fast enough.

"Maybe we should just forget about it." The second it's out of my mouth I feel awful.

He sighs. "Emmett cares about you more than you may know, Bella." There's a lot he's not saying. Like that Emmett will be mad...and he's afraid that it will hurt their friendship. My mood darkens further.

"So you're saying...we should forget about it."

He's quiet. I open the car door and get out, pausing when he says my name.

"Your bag," he says, nodding to the back seat.

I wait until I get to my room to cry. This time I don't need a song to find feeling.

Emmett pokes his head in the door when he gets home from practice. My mom is working a night shift. "You didn't start dinner?" he asks, before he sees my face. He steps in.

Despite the last few days, I don't cry very often and if I do it's not in front of Emmett. I sit up, using my palms to dry my face. He must have showered at school. He's wearing a sweatsuit plastered with the school's mascot.

Without saying anything, he sits on my bed, still not getting very close to me. "What's wrong?"

"Do you ever wish…" I get choked up and have to wait until I can speak again. "...everything could be like when we were kids again?"

When I look up at my brother I see a familiar pain. He rarely lets it show.

He holds his arm out and after a moment of hesitation, I slide forward so it's around my shoulders. The gesture makes me cry harder. We've never done this. Never really mourned our losses together, though we suffered the same ones.

When I calm down he rubs my back a few times and lets me go. I grab a tissue off of my nightstand and blow my nose. His eyes look a little red.

"How 'bout I make grilled cheese?"

I smile. It's what my mom always makes us when we had a bad day.

In the kitchen he cooks while I sit at the breakfast nook, my chin resting on my knees. He tells me about football practice, the blocks he made and his predictions for their next game. I listen, but mostly I watch him, wishing I had known the whole time that I was supposed to be memorizing all of this; that I had realized it wouldn't last forever.

Edward doesn't call that night. He doesn't show up.

I decide to really try to forget about it.

* * *

I race Emmett to the phone, smiling smugly at him when I get there first. He rolls his eyes and goes back to his room. I know he's hoping it's Rose. He finally sucked it up and asked her out on a date. He's bringing her to an Italian restaurant tonight. I'm truly happy for them.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" My dad's voice inspires something different in me than it used to.

"Hey Dad," I say, twisting the cord around my finger.

Emmett comes out of his room with his giant football bag over his shoulder. He's got a Saturday practice. He nods at me, in one gesture acknowledging that it's our dad and that he doesn't want to talk to him. I give Em something approximating a smile.

My dad and I engage in the obligatory small talk before he gets down to business.

"I wanted to talk to you about Sue."

"Okay?"

My heart sinks. "I'm going to propose."

"Oh wow," I say, hoping it sounds sincere enough. I can't help thinking about how my mom and Emmett will react to the news.

"I was hoping we could reschedule next weekend."

I was supposed to stay at his condo.

"I already told your mother. She said she'd tell Emmett…" he fades off. He doesn't often bring Em up to me. I sense his sadness about it.

"Congratulations, Dad. I really like Sue." It's not a lie.

"Could we see you the weekend after next?"

"Definitely." I make my voice strong.

We say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone, taking a minute to think through the conversation. I wonder if Emmett already knows.

I've spent the last three weeks trying not to think about Edward. Now I want to forget about this, too.

There's one person I know I can count on to keep my mind occupied. I pick up the phone and dial.

* * *

Jasper was wrong. Whiskey and grape soda do not taste good together.

"Aren't you Emmett's little sister?" a girl asks, chewing a piece of gum like a cow.

She and a redhead exchange a look I'm all too familiar with.

"Yeah," I answer, my tone flat.

"Tell him I said hi," she says. I don't know her name and don't ask.

"I'm going to go...get another drink." I stand, wandering into the kitchen. This is a typical, disgusting boy house. The guys who live here were seniors last year. If the kitchen is any indication, all they've done since they graduated is drink beer and eat pizza.

I left Emmett a note but it's getting late and I bet he's starting to worry. I find Aro. He sells weed to most everyone in our high school. He and Jasper are well acquainted.

"Can I use your phone?" I have to talk loud to be heard over the music.

He shakes his head. "Marcus spent the utility money at the strip club." He laughs and I grimace. "Your brother know you're here?"

"Sort of. He's the one I need to call."

Jasper's telling a story to a group of people behind us. He's already faded, his movements wild and his voice louder than it should be. When he spots me, he hands me a blunt. I hit it and cough.

"There's a payphone up the street," Aro says. He looks around at the crowd in his house. "I don't mean to sound like your dad but it's getting late and it's about to get rowdy. Em would trip if he knew you were here."

I don't disagree and I even feel bad about it but I take another sip off the nasty drink in my hand. I must be high because I'm smiling.

"He's on a date with Rosalie," I tell Aro.

"Lucky bastard," Aro says, grinning.

Jasper throws an arm over my shoulders and tells a dirty joke that makes me laugh. He hands me the blunt again.

I laugh a lot. Jasper stays with me the whole night. Alice shows up but only to show off her new boyfriend. After she leaves, Jasper's emotional, telling me and the two girls I shunned earlier in the night about how he fucking loves Alice and thinks she's the coolest girl he's ever met. Eventually I declare the girls my new best friends. We play beer pong. I smoke a cigarette and like each time I do, I hate it. It makes my eyes water. We dance to music from a tinny boombox in the kitchen.

By the time Edward shows up I'm wasted. I yell his name from across the room and, when he approaches, I stand on my toes to plant a kiss on his lips. He doesn't let go of my waist but he doesn't kiss me back.

"Time to go, kid," he says.

I take a step back. "Kid?" I ask.

"You don't want your brother showing up here. Let's go." He nods toward the door.

I don't think Jasper notices that Edward is here. I kick his foot and he holds up a hand but he keeps making out with a girl wearing a pink tube top. I look around the party and see a few people passed out. The crowd has thinned considerably.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Three," Edward says.

"In the morning?" Reality crashes into me and I spin around looking around for my coat. Edward holds it out so I can put it on. We spend ten minutes looking for my purse and find it on top of the microwave in the kitchen. I laugh when I discover it there.

"I don't know what happened. I was having fun," I explain as I follow him to his car. I know I'm smiling and shouldn't be, but can't help it. He opens my car door for me and shuts it. It's not until he gets in and we drive away that I realize he's pissed off. His jaw is clenched.

"Pull over," I say.

He does.

"Are you sick?" he asks, looking at me.

I shake my head, leaning over to kiss him. He backs out of my reach and I shift back to my side of the car.

"I don't get it. You get with all these girls but-"

He finally snaps. "Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I bang every girl you see me with. I didn't sleep with Tanya."

We sit in silence. My head is clouded and I shake it, trying to form a linear thought. Only one floats through the haze. "I think tomorrow I'm going to feel really stupid about this."

I'm vaguely aware that I shouldn't have said that out loud.

He pulls back onto the road and we don't say anything else until he pulls up in the alley. I can see the kitchen light is on. Emmett will be waiting up, I'm sure. I'm lucky my mom isn't home. "You're always driving me around, taking care of me. Why?"

I want him to say something sweet. I want to kiss him again.

He sighs. "You should go inside."

I slam the door behind me like a pouty little kid. He waits for me to get inside before he pulls away all the same.

I get a lecture that would be a whole lot more effective if I wasn't drunk. I tell Emmett as much and go to bed without even taking my shoes off.

As I'm passing out I'm vaguely aware of Emmett coming into my room. I hear him set a glass of water on my nightstand.

Something tells me tomorrow is going to be rough.

* * *

**One chapter left. Missing you already. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to ShearEnvy, bashfulfan and roglows. So much love.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

It's noon before I make it into the shower. It's one by the time I feel like I can stomach a sip of water.

When I finally walk into the kitchen, Emmett's doing his homework at the table. My mom isn't home yet.

I slide onto the bench seat across from him. He taps his pen on the page, staring at me.

"You look like shit."

"I feel like shit."

He shakes his head. "Edward had to work this morning at six. I was out with Rose so he looked for you all night."

I rub my eyes, feeling like an even bigger asshole than before. Edward would have gotten about two hours of sleep, if that.

"How was your date?" I ask.

As he tells me I start to realize why he's not completely losing it on me about last night. He can't stop smiling. I put my arms on the table and lay my head down, looking at him.

"You love her, don't you?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "Shut up."

It takes me a lot to smile when I feel this shitty, but I do.

He goes back to his homework, glancing up after a few minutes.

"Did dad talk to you?"

I nod.

"You okay?"

I nod again.

"You?" I ask.

He shrugs, drawing spirals on the lined page in his notebook. My mind wanders. I think about trying to eat something.

"So, you and Edward, huh?"

I sit up, focusing in on him. My eyes are wide.

"What?" I ask, dumbly.

"He told me. That he likes you. That he kissed you."

I ask "what" again and he looks at me, amused.

"Whatever. At least it's not Jasper," he says, going back to his homework.

After a minute I lay my head down on my arms again.

My hangover doesn't seem so bad now.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, I go to Edward's house. His mom hugs me and tells me he's in his room. The door is open a crack so I push it the rest of the way peeking around the corner. He's sprawled across his bed face down, headphones on and eyes closed. I take a second to look around. There are posters covering the walls; Nirvana, Soundgarden and NWA. There are bands I've never heard of and some that I wouldn't have expected to see. His room smells like dryer sheets and weed. It's clean but messy, stacks of CD's and books on his desk.

I kick his foot with mine, standing a few feet away from the bed. He opens his eyes and doesn't seem surprised to see me. Pulling off his headphones he rolls onto his back, yawning and stretching. His t-shirt rides up and he catches me looking. My cheeks feel hot but I don't feel shy.

He sits up on the edge of his bed, his eyes still half closed.

"I'm sorry about last night," I start.

He doesn't respond but he doesn't look mad.

Things started to come back to me as I sobered up. The kiss at the party was bad but the non-kiss in the car was worse.

"I was really drunk."

He looks at me like 'duh'. Despite that, I press on.

"Emmett told me you told him...about us."

Before he speaks he clears his throat. It's thick with sleep. "Yeah."

I watch him run his fingers through his hair. It's starting to get long, curling slightly around the nape of his neck. I want to kiss that spot.

"He was cool."

Taking a chance, I back up a step, reaching behind me to quietly shut his bedroom door. It clicks and I lean back against it, biting my lip. I smile and after a second he laughs once, looking away but smiling just the same.

Slowly, I walk forward to stand in front of him. He grabs my hips, his left thumb under my shirt. My breath stutters. "Can I kiss you?" I ask.

He smiles again and I dip my head down, my lips just touching his. I can feel my heartbeat everywhere. He pulls me onto his lap, my legs on either side of his. There's a distinct possibility that I might implode. I rock forward and his hands stop me.

"We can go slow," he mumbles.

"What if I don't want to go slow?"

He kisses my neck. I exhale slowly. "I promise to make it worth your while."

"How slow are we talking?" I ask, as his hands move up my back. "Because I pretty much came over here to get off." I'm only half kidding.

He backs up so he can see my face. I smile. "What?"

Shaking his head, he grins. "No, nothing. That's hot." I can tell he means it. I can feel it, actually.

We kiss and I let myself get lost in it. He's a good kisser. He goes slow and the way his hands move makes me crazy. I want them in places he gets just to the edge of, teasing me.

"What about your mom?" I ask.

He picks me up, sitting me on the bed so he can lock the door. I'm shaking just a little. If I wanted to stand up right now I'm not sure I could.

We lay down facing each other. He kisses me again, his hand coming down my thigh, behind my knee. He pulls it up over his hip and I want more friction but I let him lead. I start to undo my shirt and he stops me, taking over, large hands fumbling with the buttons. Once it's open he slides his hand over my waist. He just looks, his mouth slightly open. The clasp is in the front and I pop it open but let him pull the material away from my skin.

His thumb comes up to brush the underside of my breast and I exhale a puff of air, breath shallow. His thumb moves over my nipple and I moan.

He stills and looks up. A laugh bursts out of my mouth and he smiles.

I unbutton his shirt and sigh at the muscle in his chest, his abs taut. Running my fingers over it I get close to the waistband of his boxers and run my fingers under the plaid material. He holds his breath as I touch the head of his cock, my fingers running over smooth skin. He's radiating heat, his pulse pounding steadily. I think he tries to speak but no sound comes out.

I let him unzip my jeans, pulling them down enough to reveal my underwear. He moves his hand lower and this time when I moan he kisses me, quickly sliding his hands underneath the material and finding my clit. He moves two fingers in a circle and the angle is awkward but I'm so close already that it doesn't matter. I try to move my legs further apart but my jeans keep my knees together. I don't fight it. I keep quiet and that makes it feel better, keeping everything inside, everything focused on this one point while I shift, helping him. His kiss is urgent and when I let a moan slip he rubs a little faster, a little harder. "Oh, fuck," I whisper against his lips, my body stilling as I come, his fingertips slick on that perfect spot.

He stops just when I start to get sensitive, bringing his hands to my hips. We stare at each other for a long moment. He bites his lip.

"What about you?" I ask.

He smiles. "You came over here to get off. Not get me off."

My pulse picks up at the thought of making him feel what I just did, with my hands and my mouth.

Maybe someday with my whole body. The thought makes me even more ready for this.

I kick off my jeans.

"It's only fair," I reason. He doesn't protest this time, swallowing hard as I look down and reach out to undo his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. When I pull his cock out of his boxers I look up at him. It's bigger than I thought it would be. I wrap my hand around it and rub my thumb over the head, focusing on the underside. Rose told me it's the most sensitive spot on a man. I think she might have been right when he furrows his brow, his mouth open. I try to stroke up and down once but there's not enough lubrication so my hand catches. I push him back to lay flat on the bed.

"No, Bella. You don't have to-"

But I've got the head in my mouth and he exhales, swearing. He watches for a second and then drops his head back, throwing his arm over his face. He makes a noise that makes me take him further into my mouth. I find a rhythm after a minute and he seems to get harder.

"Fuck."

I keep going, trying to match the movement of my mouth with my hand, stroking up and down and licking back and forth across the sensitive spot. He makes a helpless sound, like he could cry.

"Fuck. I'm gonna come." He weakly tries to make me back away but can't. He's still got his arm over his face and he groans so I'm not surprised when it hits my tongue, coming in time with my motions. Because I don't know what to do after, I swallow, sitting up and taking a deep breath.

It's a minute before he moves, his stomach flexing as he catches his breath. I take a second to really look at his body. He's perfect. I can't wait to kiss every inch of him. My shirt is still off and I allow myself a moment to enjoy it. I feel comfortable and the way he's sprawled out makes me think he feels the same.

When he drops his arm he shakes his head at me, but there's a smile on his face. "I said take it slow."

I smile back. "I did take it slow. I waited years."

He looks down, pulling up his boxers but leaving his jeans undone. His eyes travel down my body.

"Come here," he says. I move over him, my legs on either side of his and my hands on his chest. It's a view I'd like to see every day for the rest of my life. He pulls me down to press his lips to mine. I like the way our bare chests feel pushed together.

"After that, this is going to sound…" he doesn't finish. We stare at each other, our faces close. This feels right. So right. "I love you."

The tear that comes to my eye is the good kind. I run a hand through his hair with an affection I can't believe I finally get to express.

'I love you, too."

* * *

**I'm working on a WWH epilogue. It's slow going but I'm in it. Thank you for reading, my friends! Good to be back here.**


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